nope

at the skatepark 

sellin some meth to some idiots

wut?

if i don't do it

someone else will

some bitch waddles up to me

i used to fuck her but 

she looks busted now 

hey, she says,

can i bum a cig?

i tell her i'll give u a cig if u suck my dick

wut u gunna name the baby? i ask 

she says wut?  i'm not pregnant  

fuck  maybe i am  

u got me paranoid

we go back to my place

think i can feel it kick, she says

fuck me, she says 

no 

fine, cum down my throat  

i can't get there

but don’t want to offend her 

so i fake it

o 

almost  there   aalllmo

o

piss a few bursts o O O and she doesn't know the difference

mm, now it's my turn, she says 

nah, i say, that wasn’t the agreement

it’s time for u to go 

but she's already got her pants off 

panties off 

and a bunch of pocket shots and tater tots fall to the floor 

???

where is ur purse? i ask 

traded it for pocket shots and tater tots, she says 

she gets on the bed

eat me out, she says

-no

-fine

starts fingerblasting herself

i go to the other room

couple minutes later, she moans

oo i'm going to cu--

ahhh mm ouch mm

i think i'm giving birth!

i come over to see what's going on

aaaahhhh ah ah 

and diarrhea comes screaming out of her butthole 

splashing my fila flip flops (!)

what the fuck

i run to the bathroom to clean up 

by the time i come out she's gone 

but 

she's… left something...

squirming on the floor, covered in liquid shit

i jump (wearing my combat boots now) 

I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER!!!

-

not

-

crunch